Crazy as Batshit at the Legion

By Seamus O'Bradaigh

Terry Nunn deserves an ass-whoppin! On the pillory at 12 noon.
Rotten tomatoes dead center on that mushy noodle.
Stupid is as stupid does. And these gems? STUPID!

Crazy as batshit.
The whole town of Campbellford?
No.
The Legion members?
Yes.
"Retired Toronto police officer Terry Nunn has apologized for showing up at a Legion hall in Ontario in blackface and being led around on a rope by a friend in a Ku Klux Klan outfit," said the Calgary Herald.
"It doesn't matter that it was Halloween. The outfit is offensive and it especially has no place in a Legion, which honours men and women who fought and died for freedom.
Nunn and his friend inexplicably won first place for their costume, which added insult to the insensitivity. The Legion branch has also apologized to Mark Andrade, a black man in Campbellford, Ont., who complained about the get-up."
And we go on and on bursting volubly from every nook and cranny in Canada.
Point is. It's pointless.
Stupid is as stupid does.
Terry Nunn is stupid.
His friend's an idiot.
The people who voted for the gag are rampant racists.
Oh ... don't indict the town says the Mayor.
Bull shit.
I'll indict who I want ya' ramblin' asshole.
Ever watch Law and Order ya' witless apologist?
Y'all opened the door ... you bozos.
Papers across Canada spit venom aghast.
The mayor of the town in question on CBC radio recently called it "an unfortunate incident" and told Rita Chelli he was getting a lot of harassing phone calls and emails.
Shut the fuck up.
An unfortunate incident is your dog shitting on the neighbor's porch.
This was racism pure and simple.
A scrum.
A period piece that demands that at least one of these assholes gets an ass-whoppin'!
Terry Nunn offered a tepid apology.
He said he's not a racist.
The Legion members voted a duo in blackface and KKK hat and robe as the best fucking costume at their Halloween bash.
And I am royally pissed.
I saw the pictures.
Now I wanna' know.
One thing and one thing only.
How did that duo get into a Legion dressed in drag and wearing hats.
The last time I stepped ionto a legion wearing my Desert Storm baseball cap I was juked with the round.
$55 bucks it cost me.
Then they booted my ass out and stole my hat.
So how did retired cop Terry Nunn sneak into the Legion.
And how did they get by the sentient 94 year-old greeter and hat-check scrutineer at the door?
And why did they not get stuck with the round?
And how did they end up winning the Texas Mickey as the best costumers on the night?
C'mon Legion in Campbellford.
Charge these guys for the round.
And kick their ass around the barroom floor.
Terry Nunn says he's not a racist.
Says some of his best friends are black.
Says "hey ma brotha's? Whaaaaasup? Cant's we all just get along?"
Well Mr. Nunn ...here's something for your pea brained, mushy mash of incandescent noodles screaming like a pinball around that vacuous space between your fucking ears to ponder.
I read an account of a soldier - a Canadian soldier who was among the first witnesses on scene at Dachau shortly after the Allies crumpled the nazis (sic on purpose).
He said - essentially - that he could not believe that one human being - or cartel of sadists -could possibly concoct such abject humiliation, torture and blandishment upon members of the human race.
Terry Nunn.
You are a living lobotomy.
A very good argument for retroactive abortion.
A measure of just how low a human soul can go.
You and your friends at the Campbellford Legion deserve to be ridiculed.
You are devoid of intelligent thought.
You disgraced my father, who fought in Italy and France to advance the cause of freedom ... freedom for all men to live equally and without rancour.
You disgraced Legions all across Canada.
You and your Legion cronies who voted for you and that witless charade should be driven from that Legion like rats from a sinking ship.
Driven back to some black hole.
Like the squabbling neanderthals that ye all be.
And Mayor whatever the fuck your name is.
Man up and grab a pair you woosey apologist.
Hope the council makes your life miserable.
Hope you keep getting emails.
I am filing for a public members bill to bring back the stocks.
Rotten tomatoes in the town square for all those Legion racists who consider leading a black man around in a noose with garb reserved for jackals, spit-brained slobberers and knuckle-dragging idiots as a fairly routine exercise.
And I'm mailing this correspondence to all of kneejerk spit-wizards at the Campbellford Legion.
Make copies please! All you racists and low-lifes.
Then fold those copies five ways and shove em where the moon never shines.

Related articles

• Royal Canadian Legion apologizes for racist Halloween contest (theprovince.com)
• Former cop apologizes for racist Halloween costume (theprovince.com)
• Legion branch awards prize for KKK Halloween costume (ctv.ca)
• Former cop apologizes for racist Halloween costume (canada.com)
• KKK costume wins first prize at Legion Halloween party (purestrange.wordpress.com)
• Not a racist, KKK costume a mistake, says former cop who wore blackface (theglobeandmail.com)
• Campbellford reels, Legion closes after Halloween furore (thestar.com)

My Sears Experience - Walking thru the River Styx

By Terrance Gavan

Pardon the Eruption - Managing Editor

How the Gav fell into a deep dark miasma of unspecified dung.

My letter to Sears after a frustrating 1.5 hours on the phone with several (6) Sears representatives.

At Sears.CA … Customer Service is apparently an oxymoron.

Dear Faceless Sears Canada Dreck:

I received an email with the following:

Terrance Gavan: In the subject line

Case Number : 1768082 re order number 1010089815-00002

We are contacting you regarding an order placed with Sears Canada. 

Before this order can be processed, it is necessary for us to verify some information with you.  For security reasons, we are unable to verify this information through email.

Best results are achieved by promptly contacting the Sears Help Desk at 1-866-816-1700 between the hours of 8:00 am - midnight Eastern Standard Time.

Don’t you dare … ever again to offer that number to a customer!

If you value your client base!

Hah! Jesus Christ what am I saying?

I must be having a sixties flashback.

Now: some background.

I am a writer, a columnist. And for the past two years or so I had carried a credit of $255 on my sears master Card ...

I checked in September and found that my $255 balance had suddenly been whittled to $199 or so. I inquired and was told "service charges" on a credit balance. Whoooweeee! You guys know how to make a buck!!

Let me remind you that I had overpaid old Sears card two Christmases ago. Never used the new Sears Mastercard .. not once.

Now being informed that my credit situation would be whittled to the big squadouche (nothing) in about eight years … so I decided I better spend the balance.

Colorado Avalanche star Matt Duchene comes home

Duchene right at home back in the Highlands

by terrance gavan

Giving back.

It’s part paradigm and part recipe, rolled into a tight karmic ball.

It’s what the good ones do: give back.

And we like the good ones.

They remind us of the potent possibilities inherent in a smile, a whispered word, and the precious donation of one’s time.

Which is why it was nice to see Matthew Duchene back at home in the old Dysart et al Arena last Tuesday afternoon, giving back, hot-stoving, spinning yarn, and spending quality time with some old friends and many new acquaintances. 

For those unfamiliar with Matt Duchene, he’s the local kid who grew up with a dream that chugged into reality in large part through the good auspices of the Dysart et al Arena ice, a supportive family, great schools, nurturing community, and Haliburton’s perplexing and peculiar penchant for churning tykes in Tacks into hockey superlatives.

The old Dysart barn is where young Matthew started his hockey career; just like a lot of the kids – young and old - who came to see him last Tuesday to get autographs and have their pictures taken with the rookie sensation currently toiling splendidly for the NHL’s Colorado Avalanche.

Drafted third overall in the 2009 NHL entry draft by the Avs, his favorite team when he was growing up, Matt Duchene is currently leading all NHL rookies in scoring, a stat made more impressive by the fact that the list of rookies includes the number one overall 2009 pick, effervescent sniper, John Tavares.

Duchene remains one of only a very select group of 18-year-old rookies that broke into the pro ranks in their draft year. He’s the beneficiary of a hefty signing bonus, a nifty salary, and he’s sitting on the speckled horizon of a career that thus far seems blessed and bedazzled by far-reaching promise. And, oh yeah, he just turned 19 a few weeks back.

So what the heck was young Matthew Duchene doing in the Dysart et al Arena last Tuesday, when a large portion of NHL players, currently on a mid-season hiatus  engendered by the Olympic hockey tournament, were spending quality time on a beach in St. Bart’s, body surfing in Nassau, or golfing in Arizona?

Matt answered that question last Wednesday in Lindsay. He had just helped his old high school hockey mentors Ron Yake and Gary Brohman coach the Red Hawk hockey team to a 7-3 victory over I.E. Weldon Wildcats at the Lindsay Recreational Complex.

He was preparing to board the old school bus for the return trip down Highway 35 to Haliburton.

Asked if he was happy that he could now add the perfect coaching record - 1-0 - to his growing list of  hockey accomplishments Duchene just laughed.

“Well, yeah, but I coached Adam Foote’s (Colorado teammate and in-house landlord) kid two weeks ago, and we won that game too, so I guess I’m really 2-0 as a coach,” smiles Duchene.

Earlier that day, just outside the Hal High gym, Duchene’s former teacher Walter Tose made a point of coming up to him and thanking him for coming back. “It means a lot to people,” Tose said.

Duchene is reminded of that poignant moment in Lindsay, and when asked about how it feels to hear things like that, he thinks for a minute and attempts to place it all in perspective.

“Very nice to hear that [comment from Tose],” says Duchene. “I came back, but it’s not like it’s a totally selfless thing. I want to be back in my home town. I love being in Haliburton. And I’m going to do something for the community and the kids, because I was them once; and I looked up to different guys that played in the NHL, so I know what it’s like to be able to meet (an NHL player).”

Understand that despite those gentle protestations, last Tuesday Duchene showed his true commitment to this community. All proceeds from the autograph sessions last Tuesday in Haliburton, last Thursday in Minden, and on Sunday in Wilberforce went to the Sick Children’s Hospital in Toronto. The funds donated are to be submitted in the name of Dawson Hamilton, Duchene’s special friend, who for five of his nine years spent a great deal of his time on the cancer ward of the Sick Kids battling, in vain, against the cancer which finally took his life last December just a week before his tenth birthday.

He got permission from the Avalanche to leave the team to attend Dawson’s funeral in Minden.

And Duchene came back to Haliburton last week because there’s really no place else he’d rather be.

Last Tuesday he was on the ice practicing with his old high school team beginning at around 3:30 p.m. After the high school practice was over he came back out on the ice to skate a bit with the Haliburton Highland Storm Novice team. And after that he changed, and popped upstairs to the recreation hall on the second floor of the arena, had a quick meal, brought to the arena by mom Chris and dad Vince, and then spent two hours from 6 until 8 p.m. signing autographs and sitting for photographs.

“I feel like a regular guy and at the same time I know how I’m looked at in the community, so I want to do as much as I can to give back and to help out where I can,” says Duchene. The high school hockey junket was especially gratifying, because just three years ago he was riding that bus to Lindsay and Peterborough. And he still remembers just how fun it was; among friends, with guys who just wanted to play. No money. No per diem. Just rolling wheels and the excited buzz.

“I wanted to come back home, and I said to my mom ask coach Bro’ (Gary Brohman – Hal High hockey coach and principal) If I could come practice, skate with the team and maybe help out coaching and I’m happy he let me do it and it was a lot of fun,” says Duchene. “I’ve had it mind for a long time to come home . . . I’m not a big guy for the sun. This was definitely my first choice.”

Some kids who met Duchene will be taking this moment well past their childhood.

Ryan Hall plays defense for the Highland Storm Novice team that was on the ice practicing when Matt Duchene paid a visit to their Tuesday afternoon workout.

Hall came upstairs after practice for Duchene’s autograph. Asked who his favorite NHL player was Hall’s answer was succinct and definitive.

“Matt Duchene is my favorite player,” smiles Hall.

Asked what words of advice Duchene had for the young Novice team, Hall thinks for a bit.

“He told us to play hard; have fun,” says Hall.

A pretty nice gift of advice, from one aspiring star to another.